A Guide for Teens and Young Adults
Grief is a natural process we all experience when losing someone we love. It can be a painful and challenging journey, leading to positive growth and transformation. As a teen or young adult, it is vital to understand the emotional impact of both positive and negative grief. This guide will explore the effects of grief and provide strategies for coping with loss.
Defining Grief and Loss
Grief is the deep sadness and loss you feel when someone you love dies. It is a normal and natural response to loss; everyone experiences it differently. Loss can come in many forms, including the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or even the loss of a job.
Understanding the Emotional Impact of Grief
If you are going through grief, you might notice how it affects your feelings. You will likely have many emotions, such as sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt, or despair. Sometimes, you might feel relief, love, gratitude, tenderness, or hope.
A teen who experiences the death of a loved one needs to know that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. However, there are some helpful and some not-so-helpful ways to grieve. Providing constructive ways for teenagers to express their grief will help prevent prolonged or unresolved sadness and depression. Suggest constructive ways to express their feelings—talking to someone they trust, journaling, creating art—instead of holding feelings in or turning to more destructive coping methods, such as drinking, substance abuse or antisocial or high-risk behaviours.
Positive Effects of Grief
Developing Resilience and Strength
Some people have positive experiences following grief and loss, such as a new sense of wisdom, maturity and meaning in life. The grief process can help you develop resilience and strength that will benefit you. It can also help you learn how to cope with difficult emotions and situations in the future.
Strengthening Relationships
Grief can bring people together and strengthen relationships. Turning to the people you love for support is natural during a difficult time, and this can create a more profound connection and intimacy in your relationships.
Finding Meaning and Purpose
Sometimes, grief can lead to a greater sense of meaning and purpose in life. Losing someone you love can make you re-evaluate your priorities and what is truly important. This can lead to a greater sense of purpose and drive to live your life in a way that honours your loved one’s memory.
Negative Effects of Grief
Physical Symptoms of Grief
Grief can affect your appetite or sleep. You might feel tired and have less energy than usual. Alternatively, you might feel more restless. You might find it hard to relax or concentrate. You might feel a “heaviness” in your chest, a “tightness” in your throat, or a “pit” in your stomach. Losing a loved one can be stressful. And stress can have some of these temporary effects on your body.
Emotional and Mental Health Consequences
Grief can have particularly traumatic effects on children and young people. These include not doing well with their schoolwork, low confidence, and being at greater risk of dying young, including a greater risk of dying by suicide. During this phase, the bereaved may also experience altered thought patterns such as disbelief, confusion, forgetfulness, decreased concentration, preoccupation, depersonalisation, or even hallucinations, in addition to behavioural changes like sleep disturbances, appetite changes, withdrawal, restlessness, and crying.
Behavioural Changes
Grief can also lead to adverse behavioural changes, such as substance abuse or antisocial or high-risk behaviours. It is essential to seek help if you notice yourself or someone else engaging in destructive coping methods.
Coping with Grief
Self-Care Strategies for Coping with Grief
If you are grieving, taking care of yourself physically and emotionally is essential. Here are some self-care strategies that can help:
Expressing Emotions
Talking to someone you trust, journaling, creating art, or participating in support groups can help you express your emotions healthily.
Engaging in Activities that Bring Joy
Pursuing activities that bring you joy or comfort can help you cope with your loss. This might include spending time in nature, listening to music, or practising relaxation techniques.
Taking Care of Physical Health
Eating a well-balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and engaging in regular exercise can help you maintain your physical health during grieving.
Seeking Professional Help
If you are struggling to cope with grief alone, it is vital to seek professional help. This might include talking to a counsellor or therapist specialising in grief counselling or participating in a support group for people who have experienced similar losses.
Supporting Others through Grief
Being a Supportive Friend or Family Member
If someone you care about is grieving, being a supportive friend or family member is essential. Here are some ways you can help:
Understanding and Validating Their Feelings
Listen to their thoughts and feelings without judgment, and let them know that their emotions are valid and normal. Remember, there is no “right” way to grieve; each person’s experience is unique.
Offering Practical Support
Help with daily tasks like cooking, cleaning, or running errands. This can provide a sense of relief and support during a difficult time.
Being There for Them
Being present and available to listen or offer a shoulder to cry on can be incredibly comforting to a grieving person.
Navigating Grief in Different Situations
Coping with the Loss of a Parent
Losing a parent can be particularly difficult for teens and young adults. It is essential to give yourself time to grieve and to seek support from friends, family, or a counsellor if needed. Remember that feeling a wide range of emotions is okay and that healing will take time.
Coping with the Loss of a Sibling
Losing a sibling can be a devastating experience. It is vital to acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to grieve. Reach out to friends, family, or a counsellor for support, and try to find ways to honour your sibling’s memory in your daily life.
Coping with the Loss of a Friend
The death of a close friend can be excruciating, and it is vital to allow yourself time to grieve. Reach out to mutual friends or support groups to share memories and feelings, and seek professional help if needed.
Coping with the Loss of a Pet
Pets can be cherished members of our families, and their loss can be deeply felt. Allow yourself to grieve for your pet and find ways to honour its memory. For support, reach out to others who understand the bonds between people and their pets.
Final Thoughts on Understanding Grief and Loss
Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience, and allowing yourself time and space to heal is vital. Understanding the emotional impact of positive and negative grief, you can better navigate the grieving process and support those around you. Remember that it is okay to ask for help when needed and that healing will take time. With support and self-care, you can emerge from grief with greater resilience, strength, and a deeper appreciation for life.
Helpful resources:
https://www.griefencounter.org.uk/
https://www.youngminds.org.uk/
https://www.childbereavementuk.org/listing/category/support-for-young-people
